# Comprehensive Manuscript Review Checklist

This checklist synthesises criteria from neuroscience-based story theory, professional editing practice, and prose craft technique into a single review framework.

## Lens 1: Story Architecture

### Protagonist's Internal World
- [ ] Can you identify the protagonist's misbelief? Is it specific, earned, and active?
- [ ] Can you identify the protagonist's desire? Is it in conflict with the misbelief?
- [ ] Does the protagonist's worldview visibly filter their interpretation of events?
- [ ] Is the origin of the misbelief traceable to a specific past experience?
- [ ] Does every scene touch the third rail (the protagonist's internal struggle)?

### Story Structure
- [ ] Does the story begin at the last possible moment — when avoidance becomes impossible?
- [ ] Does the inciting event directly threaten the protagonist's misbelief?
- [ ] Is there a ticking clock creating urgency?
- [ ] Is there a clear cause-and-effect chain through the internal story?
- [ ] Does the ending (if present) represent a genuine internal transformation — the Aha moment?
- [ ] Is the Aha moment earned, specific, and tied to the third rail?

### What If Premise
- [ ] Does the premise contain context, conflict, and a thematic point?
- [ ] Does the premise imply the collision between the protagonist's inner world and external reality?

## Lens 2: Reader Engagement

### Opening / Hook
- [ ] Is the protagonist present from page one?
- [ ] Is something already happening that affects them?
- [ ] Are stakes visible immediately?
- [ ] Does the first page make the reader want to read the second?
- [ ] Is there a "yardstick" — a framework for understanding what kind of story this will be?

### Cause and Effect
- [ ] Does every scene follow from the previous one (therefore/because, not and-then)?
- [ ] Can you trace the internal pattern (action → reaction → decision → action) in every scene?
- [ ] Does the "And so?" test pass for every major element?
- [ ] Is every decision the protagonist makes traceable through the text?

### Setup and Payoff
- [ ] Is every setup paid off?
- [ ] Is every payoff set up?
- [ ] Are there inadvertent setups — details that promise significance but deliver nothing?
- [ ] Is there enough distance between setups and payoffs to create anticipation?

### Conflict and Escalation
- [ ] Is there a clear "versus" — a specific rock and hard place?
- [ ] Does conflict escalate with each complication?
- [ ] Is the force of opposition specific, present, active, and credible?
- [ ] Is the protagonist earning every gain and paying for every loss?
- [ ] Have the protagonist's deepest flaws been exposed and tested?

### Emotional Resonance
- [ ] Does the protagonist react emotionally to events?
- [ ] Are reactions specific and embodied, not generic?
- [ ] Can the reader mirror the protagonist's emotions?
- [ ] Is the story triggering all three engagement chemicals (dopamine, cortisol, oxytocin)?

## Lens 3: Prose Craft

### Sound and Rhythm
- [ ] Does the prose sound right when read with the mind's ear?
- [ ] Is there sentence length variety?
- [ ] Does rhythm match emotional register?
- [ ] Are long sentences clearly constructed?

### Word Economy
- [ ] Are adjectives and adverbs earning their place?
- [ ] Are there qualifier ticks (just, very, kind of)?
- [ ] Can weak verb + adverb combinations be replaced with strong verbs?
- [ ] Is the prose crowded enough (vivid, dense) and leaped enough (no listing, no over-explanation)?

### POV and Voice
- [ ] Is the POV consistent? Are there accidental slips?
- [ ] Is the tense consistent? Are shifts deliberate?
- [ ] Does the narrative voice maintain a consistent register?
- [ ] If character POV, does the language reflect how that character thinks?

### Repetition
- [ ] Is repetition deliberate and effective, or accidental?
- [ ] Has natural repetition been replaced with awkward synonyms?

### Exposition
- [ ] Is exposition integrated or dumped in blocks?
- [ ] Are there "As you know, Bob" moments?
- [ ] Does necessary information arrive when the reader needs it?

## Lens 4: Editorial Quality

### Developmental
- [ ] Is the structure serving the material?
- [ ] Are there pacing problems — sections that drag or rush?
- [ ] In fiction: are subplots connected to the main story?
- [ ] In nonfiction: is the argument clear and building?
- [ ] Is anything missing? Is anything unnecessary?

### Line Level
- [ ] Are there clichés, throat-clearing, or hedging?
- [ ] Is tonal consistency maintained?
- [ ] Are there logical gaps where the reader needs a bridge?
- [ ] Does each paragraph lead naturally to the next?

### Consistency
- [ ] Character names consistent throughout?
- [ ] Physical descriptions consistent?
- [ ] Timeline consistent?
- [ ] Geography and setting details consistent?

## Report Priority Framework

After completing the review, prioritise findings by impact:

1. **Story architecture problems** — if the internal story is broken, everything built on it is compromised
2. **Engagement problems** — if readers disengage, nothing else matters
3. **Structural and pacing problems** — these change the prose landscape
4. **POV and voice problems** — these affect every page
5. **Prose craft problems** — important but addressable once larger issues are resolved
6. **Consistency and mechanical errors** — last in priority, first in visibility
