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From: bitbitch@magnesium.net
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To: "Adam L. Beberg" <beberg@mithral.com>
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Subject: Re: Selling Wedded Bliss (was Re: Ouch...)
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Date: Thu, 5 Sep 2002 23:16:59 -0400

Ah yes..

Yet another case where 'marriage' is actually an inappropriate word
for these guys.  What they want is 'housekeeper' 'dog' and
'prostitute'.

All I can say, is I hope these girls come out, take the men for what
they have, be glorified housekeepers for as short a term as possible,
and enjoy the free travel.

Love my arse.

-BB
ALB> ...an alternative to the "kind of de-feminized, over-sized, self-centered,
ALB> mercenary-minded lady available on the British singles scene,"

ALB> Glad to see American culture is making it's way into the British bars too :)
ALB> God bless us uncivilized bastards, every one.

ALB> Still, definately something not right about the below. People are now
ALB> cheaper then a decent laptop? (ok, so we knew that already)

ALB> -------------

ALB> Selling Wedded Bliss Big Business in Thailand
ALB> Thu Aug 29,10:19 AM ET
ALB> By Andrew Marshall

ALB> BANGKOK, Thailand (Reuters) - English dentist Ken Moylan came to Thailand
ALB> looking for a wife. It took two hours to find her.

ALB> "The first day I went out with Wan, she came back to my hotel and hung all
ALB> my clothes up and tidied the room. I thought it was marvelous," he said. "I
ALB> knew then there was something special."

ALB> Moylan, 49, is one of thousands of men who use introduction agencies to meet
ALB> -- and marry -- Thai women. He lives in England now with 28-year-old Wan,
ALB> who is expecting their first child.

ALB> Critics of marriage agencies say they exploit the grinding poverty of women
ALB> in developing countries, offering dreams of a new life in the West that
ALB> often turn sour. But Moylan says he has no regrets about coming to Thailand
ALB> in search of a wife.

ALB> "I got to Thailand at 2 p.m., and by 4 p.m. I'd met Wan," he said. "I knew I
ALB> found her attractive. I could tell straight away that she was very caring."

ALB> Moylan spent a week in Thailand, and after returning to England kept in
ALB> touch with Wan by phone and mail. Six months later she came to England and
ALB> the couple married.

ALB> MR. MARRIAGE

ALB> Lawrence Lynch, 49, runs Thai Professional Introduction Services, the agency
ALB> Moylan used to meet his wife. Lynch, who calls himself "Mr. Marriage,"
ALB> started the company after also marrying a Thai woman through an introduction
ALB> agency.

ALB> Since then he has helped set up hundreds of marriages.

ALB> "In the last five years we've done about 400," he said. "To the best of my
ALB> knowledge, they have all been successful."

ALB> Male clients pay $2,213 for the service, although men from countries that
ALB> require them to handle some of the visa work on their own get a discount.
ALB> Clients then get to view catalogs and videos of hundreds of Thai women
ALB> looking for a husband. If they like what they see they come to Bangkok.

ALB> Clients are introduced to several women in chaperoned meetings in Lynch's
ALB> office -- encounters that can often be awkward given mutual shyness and
ALB> language problems.

ALB> "We find that the gentlemen are usually just as nervous as the ladies,"
ALB> Lynch said. "But once they start meeting the ladies they soon relax."

ALB> After the first meeting, couples can decide to go on dates to get to know
ALB> each other better. Within two weeks of arrival, Lynch says, almost every
ALB> client has found a potential wife.

ALB> "At the end of a fortnight it's very, very rare for a guy to go back and
ALB> think he hasn't made his mind up," he said. In most cases, marriage follows,
ALB> usually within the next year.

ALB> Roongthip Kamchat, managing director of Thai No. 1 Connections, a
ALB> Bangkok-based agency, says she has introduced about 1,000 couples, and less
ALB> than 10 percent have broken up.

ALB> Roongthip says she sometimes has a difficult time calming men who have just
ALB> arrived in Bangkok looking for a wife.

ALB> "Sometimes they are very nervous," she said. "And sometimes they are very
ALB> impatient and say 'Give me a lady, I want to get married now.' I say: 'Calm
ALB> down, OK, we'll talk."'

ALB> But if men are really in a hurry, Roongthip says, she can find them a wife
ALB> and get them married within a week. Lynch says clients he has found wives
ALB> for include a blind man, a man with one leg and a man with post-traumatic
ALB> stress disorder.

ALB> WHY?

ALB> Similar marriage agencies can be found in many developing countries. Critics
ALB> say they thrive on the neediness of lonely Western men who are unable to
ALB> form relationships in their own country, and on the desperation of
ALB> impoverished women who believe they can find a better life in the West.

ALB> But Moylan says that if the arrangement makes both partners happy, there is
ALB> no reason to object. "If you talk about people who are needy, I think
ALB> everybody wants someone to love them, and wants someone to love, so yes, I
ALB> need Wan," he said.

ALB> "Thai women are dissatisfied with life in Thailand. I think there's no
ALB> secret there. They are looking for a better life. I don't have a problem
ALB> with that. In return they are willing to give a lot of love and care to
ALB> their future husband."

ALB> Lynch says men are dissatisfied with Western women too, and that is why they
ALB> choose to use his agency.

ALB> His brochure promises an alternative to the "kind of de-feminized,
ALB> over-sized, self-centered, mercenary-minded lady available on the British
ALB> singles scene," and says he can make dreams come true even for men who are
ALB> not "God's gift to women."

ALB> Roongthip said many Western men found it difficult to meet women in their
ALB> own countries -- and found Thai women attractive.

ALB> "They don't know how to meet women. Even if they go to pubs or discotheques
ALB> or restaurants or department stores, how can they ask people to marry them?
ALB> Impossible," she said.

ALB> "Many Thai girls are slim, have long hair, black eyes, small nose. They are
ALB> good at taking care and joking and laughing, not strict. Different from
ALB> ladies from other countries."

ALB> Although many couples married through agencies have a considerable age gap,
ALB> the agencies say this is not a problem. They say language problems are also
ALB> not a major obstacle.

ALB> "Thai ladies are not ageist, and they have no qualms whatsoever about having
ALB> a husband who is significantly older," Lynch said. "When I met my wife she
ALB> couldn't speak a word of English. We muddled along with a phonetic
ALB> dictionary. The ladies are very keen to learn English and they pick it up
ALB> very quickly."

ALB> Many agencies also offer tuition for woman on what to expect when they move
ALB> to the West.

ALB> "We have kitchens, we have study classes," Roongthip said. "We teach them
ALB> how to eat, and when to make tea."

ALB> PITFALLS

ALB> But not all dreams come true. "Bee" is a 26-year-old Thai woman who went to
ALB> Switzerland two years ago with a man she met through an agency. Now she is
ALB> back in Bangkok, sad and angry.

ALB> "He had no friends, and I was so lonely," she said. "I tried to make him
ALB> happy but he just wanted sex and somebody to keep his house clean. He never
ALB> spoke to me."

ALB> Bee came back to Bangkok earlier this year. "I thought I would be happy
ALB> there," she said. "But it was the worst time of my life."

ALB> Lynch says that while some agencies are badly run, he makes checks to ensure
ALB> unsuitable candidates are weeded out.

ALB> "We are ethical and professional," he said. "We will not take on all
ALB> comers."

ALB> Moylan says that despite possible pitfalls, his own marriage is proof the
ALB> arrangement can work. Wan's sister has just signed up with Lynch's company,
ALB> looking for a foreign husband.

ALB> "Perhaps there are cases of women being exploited. I'm sure there are,"
ALB> Moylan said. "But in the majority of cases the women get a good deal."





-- 
Best regards,
 bitbitch                            mailto:bitbitch@magnesium.net


