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Subject: BUG REVIEW
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____________________________________________________________ 

T H E . M O U T H P I E C E  Monday, August 19th, 2002 
____________________________________________________________ 
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[m]  q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y 

"A Houston woman has been arrested for running over her 
husband three times and killing him with her Mercedes.  The 
woman claims it was an accident. Three times.  That shows you 
what a smooth ride the Mercedes is."
	-Jay Leno

"It’s been reported that the couple from ABC’s reality show 
"The Bachelor," has broken up.  It’s not surprising since 
studies show that 60% of fake TV marriages end in divorce."
	-Conan O'Brien

"You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? Me 
neither."
	-Steve Martin

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[m] h u m o r . s i t e s 
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 

BUG REVIEW

This website provides you with any kind of information you 
need to know about bugs. Search by the insects name or by 
location such as lawns and turfs, flowers, and trees and 
scrubs. This website comes in handy when trying to figure out 
what kind of weird bugs you have around the house.

http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/bugreview/index.html

-<>-

MYSTERY PHOTO

Visit each week to see if you can identify the object(s) in 
the mystery photo. It may be a close-up of some ordinary object 
or setting, or something photographed at an odd angle or in an 
unusual setting, or some unusual object. 

If you think you know what it is, enter your answer in our 
drawing.  A winner will be chosen each week from among the 
correct entries. 

http://www.mysteryphoto.com

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

[m]  b i t s . n . b o b s 
     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 

Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say...

1. I just love how Barry Manilow sings, don't you?
2. No, I don't want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.
3. You know, her breasts are just too big for my liking.
4. Sometimes I just want to be held.
5. Boy, that Barbara Walters on "20/20" is one sexy babe.
6. Sure, honey! I'd be happy to discuss the state of our 
   relationship.
7. We haven't been to the mall for ages. Let's go shopping and 
   I can hold your purse.
8. Forget Monday Night Football. Let's watch something 
   meaningful on the "Lifetime Channel."
9. It's late. Put your clothes back on and I'll take you home.
10. Honey, I'm going to the store. Do you need more tampons?
11. Actually, I prefer it when *you* hold the remote.
12. I'm sick of beer. Give me a fruit juice.
13. Great! Your mother's coming to stay with us again.
14. I wonder if my gorgeous neighbour knows that her drapes are 
   open when she's getting ready for bed. Maybe I should tell 
   her.
15. No way. You weeded the garden last week. It's my turn.
16. Better get rid of these old Playboy magazines. I don't 
   look at them any more.
17. I understand.
18. This movie has way too much gratuitous nudity.
19. Damn, we're late for church!
20. No! I don't want to see your sister's breasts.
21. Damn these onions, pass me a tissue.
22. Put some panties on, for Pete's sake.
23. Eat something! You are starting to look like a Victoria's 
   Secret Model!
24. Don't pick that up, I got it.
25. Happy Anniversary!
26. Hey, isn't today your Mother's birthday?
27. Let's talk. I miss talking.
28. Gay men have rights too!
29. I am just too tired to have sex again today!
30. Are you losing weight, sweetie?
_________________________________________________________ 
LINKS FOR AOL MEMBERS 

Today's Humor Sites: 

<a href="http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/bugreview/index.html">
BUG REVIEW</a>

<a href="http://www.mysteryphoto.com">MYSTERY PHOTO</a>

------------------------------------------------------------ 
t h e . m o u t h p i e c e 

SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE instructions are at the TOP of this 
issue. 
____________________________________________________________ 

END OF THE MOUTHPIECE - Another FREE ShagMail publication   

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