so we need to update our onboarding process, it's kind of a mess right now. here's what should happen when a new engineer joins:

before day 1:
- HR sends welcome email with start date, office location (or remote setup instructions), and link to preboarding portal
- IT provisions laptop (MacBook Pro M3, 36GB RAM) with standard dev image
- manager creates accounts: GitHub (add to correct team), Slack (add to team channels), Gmail, Jira, 1Password vault invite
- buddy is assigned (should be someone on the same team, ideally 1-2 years experience)

day 1:
- 9:00 AM: welcome session with HR (benefits overview, sign remaining paperwork, collect emergency contacts)
- 10:30 AM: IT setup session (laptop handoff, 2FA setup on all accounts, VPN configuration)
- 12:00 PM: team lunch with manager and buddy
- 1:30 PM: buddy walks through codebase, local dev environment setup
- 3:00 PM: first PR - update the team page with your photo and bio (this is intentional, gets them through the full PR workflow on day 1)

week 1:
- daily 15-min check-in with buddy
- complete security training (mandatory, must finish by day 5)
- read team playbook and architecture docs
- attend all team ceremonies (standup, planning, retro)
- pick up first "good first issue" ticket from backlog by wednesday

30-60-90 day milestones:
- 30 days: completed at least 5 PRs, has context on all active projects, can run full test suite independently
- 60 days: owns a feature end-to-end, has done at least 1 code review, presents at team show-and-tell
- 90 days: fully ramped, can handle on-call rotation, has documented at least 1 process improvement

important: if any of the pre-day-1 stuff isn't done, the start date should be pushed. nothing worse than a new person showing up and having to wait around for accounts to be created.
